Why, Why, Why, Why…
I don’t know about you, but to me, this word holds a whole lot of emotion and power in meaning. If you’re like me you’ve had times in your life when you’ve asked why? “Why are these things happening to me?”
Just by saying the word “why” my inner 2 year old feels like she wants to throw a fit. I remember a time after many years of experiencing the misery of self-abuse and depression. I kept asking “Why” and it was from a deep place of pain. I was demanding answers and I wanted to know! “Why are these things in life happening to me?” I didn’t realize during those years I was actually living from a place of “victim consciousness.”
I’m certain if you said “victim consciousness” to any 2 year old they would look at you like you were crazy. But when you look at life from only your perspective…it’s a narrow view creating a small inner world.
At that time I cried out loud to God/higher power, creator asking “why?!” “why is this life happening to me?” “why can’t my life be better?” “why do I have to go through all this pain?” I was looking for something to change in my life.
Unfortunately, my ego, whom I’ve come to know, works from a very real and very persuasive space. I call this its “truth” strategy. You know the place when the ego keeps saying things that sound so real and so true which end up keeping us small and down in the comfort zone, a place known as victimhood. It was continually telling me why I shouldn’t move forward and I was listening. I remember that clear voice telling me “honey, this is just the way it is, so get over it.” Well, “getting over it” is not easy when you’re in the depths of it. Pain loves to play the victim and if you let it, like I did, you’ll find the ego does its best to support you in that “victim consciousness” and so often I engaged in the play of self-pity.
Brene’ Brown says “you can look all around you and find confirming reasons why you’re the victim. It takes a conscious effort to find praise.” During those years the only thing I had going for me was a deeper understanding that although I was down, I knew I wasn’t living up to my full potential and someday I would change.
When I asked that question of “why” it really just kept me stuck. Like a 2 year old throwing a fit I wasn’t open to receiving the answers I was getting. I only wanted the answers I wanted. I was unwilling to look at me or the inner work that needed to be done to create progress. So questioning with a “why” kept me from moving forward in life, it kept me in the story.
Now when I think of the word “why” I hear it as the inner indicator of my resistance to change and my ego must be scared and in fear mode. The tricky part is even though I had a big desire to find my passion and live from a place of potential, it was even more difficult to elevate to a higher place of growth.
Thanks to my higher power I eventually progressed on my spiritual path and the spiritual awakening happened. Truth be told though, I had to go through a lot of breakdowns to get there. Now I appreciate the breakdowns because I know they don’t have to take as long or be as painful for the breakthrough to happen.
So when my inner child wants to ask “why” my adult says “honey, sometimes we don’t really need to know why, just keep moving, keep growing and give gratitude.”
My 2 year old now has learned to ask bigger questions… like “What have I come here to do?”, “How can I do things better?” and “What can I do to serve my highest good and the highest good of others?”
Do you know of someone who is stuck in fear, depression or anxiety? Have you heard them complaining, blaming or crying out at all the mishaps of life?
Give the gift of compassion. Let them know change can happen and they can live from “creator consciousness” and construct a whole new reality.
Are you someone who wants to live from a place of potential and find more purpose in life?
Do you or someone you know need more passion in life?
Give yourself or someone you know a chance to chat with someone who’s been there and can make a difference.
I provide FREE "Recovery Discovery" consultation conversations.